More Cowbell

I shan’t be posting about gender roles today. I wrote it, but it turned out boring, and sounded bitchy and pretentious. I kept thinking it was missing something. And then it hit me.

Cowbell. It needed more cowbell.

It’s too nice out for such boorish drivel, and I want to play nine holes. So let’s have some fun, and do a:

June List of Five Things I Am Loving Right Now:

• My Tuner. Eckhardt Tolle told me to buy one from his website to improve my mindfulness and alert my chakras. I’m wearing it right now, a small green and silver whistle attached to a silver chain around my neck. It’s just a tuner that I can blow whenever I get a negative thought, or when I want to come back to my center when I meditate. I only blew the tuner a few times today. Once behind a slow driver (tweeeet), once walking back to my car after waiting in a long grocery store line of tourists (tweeeet), and all the way home after I was stuck behind a guy at the toll booth who did not have an EZ Pass transponder, therefore the EZ Pass turnstile would not go up for him. Funny how those things work. We were all stuck behind him for ten minutes until an operator came and lifted the turnstile manually (tweeeeeeeeeeeeeet).
• My New Website. My friend Jennifer is probably not reading this right now, as she tends to read my blogs in bulk, rather than daily. But just the other day, as we were discussing the reunion we are planning in the fall (along with our third Musketeer Katherine), she revealed that she now specializes in website design. “What a coincidence,” I said to her, “because I currently specialize in having a shitty website!” Yeah, so I’m thinking I will have this beautiful new user-friendly website by the end of the year or not soon after, one in which my sponsors can actually see their products being advertised. I want it to look polished and pretty like my favorite blogger’s website, who shall remain unidentified here because I am petty and immature, and I don’t want you to like her blog more than mine. So nanny nanny boo boo.
• The “Colette” movie. Colette is one of my favorite authors, and Keira Knightly brought her to life for me. Even by today’s standards Colette was scandalous, and her Claudine books were even more so. My favorite part of the movie was when Colette confronted her domineering husband Willy about the fact that he sold the rights to the Claudine books without her permission. She stormed out, and demanded that her lawyers and book publishers identify her as the true Claudine author. She won that victory, and never spoke to Willy again. A racy, provocative flick, somewhere in and around HBO.
• This DM on Instagram: “Hi Mary had a look over your profile seems like you are a great fit for @smoothmyballs. We are interested in working with you. Can you please drop them a message here: @smoothmyballs, and they will get back to you as soon as possible.” Oh, yes, indeed, you bet I will be sending them a message. I have to know what kind of job opportunity @smoothmyballs is offering me.
• “Seinfeld” coming to Netflix.
• BONUS: Here’s wishing you a weekend filled with more cowbell. Baby.